Trippy

I have have been composing posts in my head for the past few very busy days, but have had no time to write them. And now that I have time to write a post, I have forgotten all those great ones I had composed in my head. Today, right now, all I can think about is leaving my family at home and going away for a week.

I am both extremely excited and extremely nervous to be traveling alone, leaving my family at home to fend for themselves. I shouldn't be nervous - Chad is perfectly capable and willing to take care of Ella for seven days. But the control freak in me is just freaking out. I have stockpiled the fridge with containers of tiny, chopped food - chopped green beans and chopped carrots, tiny pieces of cheese, chopped pears and small shells of well-cooked whole wheat pasta. Crazy amounts of chopped up food, probably enough for more than just the seven days that I will be gone.

All week, I have shared "helpful hints" with Chad that he may not know about our child, since it is mostly me that deals with the intricacies of child-rearing. I have said things like, "She won't eat the whole container of yogurt, so make sure you scoop out and store half of it before you feed her from the container." And, "Give her the toothbrush to pay with while you change her diaper and it will be much easier." And ,"Make sure you cut the crunchy toast really small so she can't choke on it because she will just shovel it in." Most of my "helpful hints" have been met with a sigh and much eye-rolling - like he does not know these things already, he says.

I keep asking him if he is nervous about being left alone for a week, and he says "Why should I be?" And really, he's right. Why should he be nervous? It's no big deal. But what if he forgets to hum to her while he is rocking her to sleep and then she won't go to sleep? Will he remember to empty the coffee filter before he sets the pot to make more coffee, so the grounds won't spill all over the counter? Will she be forced to suffer through ill-fitting, mismatched clothes all week because her father is dressing her?

But, on the flip side, I am so excited that I don't think I will sleep much tonight. Two things excite me most. One, there will be no mud to deal with like there is here in the cut, so I can wear my new, clean tennis shoes without fear. And two, I can dash out the door at a moment's notice with only smokes and money, because there will be no child or diaper bag to deal with.