Independence Day

Ella has been walking for about a month. During the first few weeks of bipedal movement her head was perpetually bruised and scraped. At one point her head looked so bad that I worried people might think I beat her. This week, however, she has become much more steady on her feet. The bruises have faded, the scabs are gone, and a fiercely independent Ella has emerged.

This morning we spent a good two hours just walking around the yard and paths in the woods. It was rough terrain for fresh little feet, but Ella refused to hold my hand. The only time she was interested in my help was when she needed my pant leg to lift herself back up from a fall.

This afternoon I indulged her new independence, letting her walk into the Post Office and roam around the lobby while I tended to my business. She was so well behaved - touching things without destroying them, smiling at the old mail lady and charming her with an endless stream of babble. The mail lady said, "Such a happy baby," like everyone always says, and I said "Yes, sometimes," which I've started to say in response.

Then it was time to leave the Post Office and the mail lady, and Independent Ella reared her big head. She did not want to walk through the door. She just stood there, challenging me with her big blue eyes and short little self. I picked her up and put her back down on the outside so she could continue walking on her own. I thought it a rational, calm way to diffuse the tension and the impending tantrum. But still she threw a ridiculous fit, thrashing around on the ground and turning the two of us into a spectacle.

I know I will have many, many more of these tantrums to endure, and that today's was only the first of countless displays of independence. It was exhilarating, seeing her rage and express her own feelings. And it was terrifying, to get a glimpse of the little person to come. But at least she still doesn't say "No."