Every once in a while the routine of my life wears me down. I wake up to a new day only to walk numbly through a repeat of yesterday: wake, feed, clean, blog, feed, clean, entertain, feed, clean, bathe, clean, and back to sleep. When I start to feel like this - numb and bored and constrained by routine - I throw it all aside and I don't do anything. I let everything fall to pieces around me and I only deal with things that urgently need my attention. I feed Ella when she is clawing at the refrigerator door, I feed myself when the hunger threatens to knock me down, I clean when the gunk makes me gag or when the stink draws Chad's attention.
Last week was one of these times. I didn't blog, I didn't cook, I didn't clean. I stumbled through the week taking care of a sick Ella, only to get sick myself this weekend. And so now here I am, a chest cold making me weak and sluggish and depressed, another week staring me in the face while the rubble of last week still remains. I wonder how I will make it through another five days. I wonder when Ella will shake her cold. I wonder when the fog will lift.
September 24, 2007
Truly Mundane
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2 comments:
It'll get better. It always does. I hate being sick when my daughter needs to be cared for. I feel like the worst mom ever, because all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep, but she's tugging on me, wanting to read or play. I've gotten good at functioning when dead tired. I think being moms makes us superhuman.
where did you go?.. i always stop by to see how you are and you have fallen off the face of the planet. or at least the www.
.kate.
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