Month Fifteen

Ella is now officially fifteen months old. I cannot believe this, that fifteen months have passed since she came splashing out of my belly, but the calendar usually doesn't lie. This month has been one of big changes. Ella has definitely left babyhood behind and is fast entering toddlerhood.



Her whole body looks longer and leaner each day. The delicious rolls of baby fat around her thighs have mostly redistributed themselves, and the awkward, bowlegged baby crab-walk has straightened out. Her neck is leaner and her face a little less round. Her feet have flattened out. She looks like a kid instead of a baby, except for the bald head.

She has adopted a white teddy bear as her Number One Friend. The bear was a birthday gift from Chad's friend David, and she left him laying around for a while before she decided he was The One. Now he goes everywhere with her, and she hugs him and feeds him and kisses him and gives him her milk. She calls him "Beah," like "bear" without the "r." His white fur is dingy and stinky, but I haven't yet figured out how to wash him without Ella losing her shit. Beah cannot be out of her sight.

Tantrums are a daily occurrence now, but they're not so bad. I understand that it's all about her asserting her new found independence, and I'm excited about that. I have found this incredible patience inside me that I honestly did not know I had. Sometimes I have to walk away for a minute to find that patience, but it's always there, and once I tap into it I can usually distract her or just ride it out.

I can see some of myself emerging in her personality. She's a people-watcher. She's a little reserved at first, but warms quickly to strangers. She likes to sit outside and just look around. She likes to sleep. I wonder how much of this was there from the beginning, hardwired into her little baby brain, and how much of it is learned, since we are together much more than we are apart.